Another one of those nights…
sleep won’t come,
my thoughts keep running.
I step outside for air.
A cold, windy night.
A haze hangs in the dark midnight sky.
Somewhere in the distance,
a wind chime
so faint,
almost too quiet to hear.
Tonight, the wind is constant.
Constant like the waves.
Why do I keep returning to that?
A tear gathers in my eye.
The wind sounds like the ocean,
each gust hitting me,
leaving me shivering.
Why do I stay out here,
late into the night?
My thoughts move like the wind…
running away,
then coming back again.
Gusts of bitter cold
that sting when they land.
Painful to sit with.
But I do.
I should be in bed,
wrapped in the warmth of blankets…
yet no amount of warmth,
settles the cold
the night keeps.
On nights like this,
I feel small.
Fragile.
I listen to the wind again.
What is it about it
that pulls me in?
The trees sway in unison,
as if communicating,
as if connected.
The wind,
the trees,
the hazy night sky.
It fits how I feel.
A mood I can’t quite name.
Just a yearning…
but for what?
I know I’ll be okay.
I can take care of myself
and my kids.
I’ll get the job done.
I’m strong enough
to bear the bitter winds of life,
the ones that never seem to let up.
I tell myself it’s just a season.
Just a season.
But it always comes back.
Still, I will stand tall.
Remain strong.
Brave it all,
even if I stand alone.
I’ll do what I have to do.
I’ll make a good life,
no matter what comes.
The wind grows louder now,
almost mocking me,
asking…
“Are you sure about that?”
Sitting here reminds me
that I can do this.
Even when the cold numbs my toes
until I can barely stand,
I’ll stand as long as I can.
And if the wind knocks me down,
I’ll be in a better position,
better than standing ever was.
and I will pray.
Pray for the Lord
to give me the warmth I need,
the strength I need,
and the love and comfort,
to stand again.
Copyright © 2025 Angela J. Stout.
This Is My Story 